Down the Rabbit Hole

Down the Rabbit Drinking Hole

The Story of Nuremberg, Part I

As a surprise to the weekend, we took our first trip to Nuremberg. In fact, some colleagues of mine were in 

town for the weekend and we decided to take a day trip and tour the historic city. 

Lets just be honest, the story starts with a picture of the central church that looks like this....

... and ends with a picture of the same church that looks like this....

...and this is approximately in line with the memories of the evening.

We started the day by driving to the location of the old Nazi Rally grounds, the Zepplin Field and the location of the Nuremberg Trials. Though sort of a creepy feeling to walk around the area and standing where Hitler stood, it was a nice day to walk around and absorb some history. Der Hund had a nice time trying to do some (in the voice of Brad Pitt from Inglorious Bastards) Nazi Huntin'.

(Full disclosure: The history presented below is best described as an "Irish Truth". It is a good approximation of something that could have reasonably taken place under a given set of circumstances. And while the story is heavily researched, the facts included therein are not.)

The lake is man made by the Romans to supply drinking water to the city of Nuremberg in the 3rd century BC. The area was turned into a fair ground for the 1904 Worlds Fair. Then, circa 1930, Hitler took the area as a staging point for some of his first huge Nazi Rallies. The Colosseum, modeled after the one in Rome, was to be the center of the Nazi government. As the war turned out of Hitler's favor, funds ran out and the Colosseum was never finished. It was used at the end of the war as the location of  the Nuremberg Trials.

Want to know how to kill the vibe of a perfectly good town festival? Put it at a former Nazi rally point!

Central of the Colosseum. This is the site where Hitler made Mussolini and Stalin fight to the death. Stalin won, but only after making Mussolini chase him around the perimeter of the Colosseum for 2 hours while yelling "Bet you can't catch me!". Eventually Mussolini collapsed from exhaustion, much to the delight of Hitler. Stalin boasted for hours. This, in turn, sparked the Cold War.

Der Hund: Nai Hunter

Der Hund watching out for Nazi's

 Der Hund getting an affectionate reward (foreground) after scaring a Nazi away (background).

Following a trip to the Nuremberg Fairgrounds, we took a trip around the walled part of the old city. Here we sampled the local cuisine which is, as it turns out, mostly beer. Or, as is my understanding..

Die Kollegen using Google Maps to "Find Closest Tavern"

Walking to an Underground Beer Lair.

After a delicious lunch of Nuremberger Sausages (read: Jimmy Dean's Breakfast Sausages) we toured the castle. 

And so, after a day where the ratio of TtB ratio (tours to beers) was well less than a normal batting average and steadily declining, we found ourselves at the last bar of the night. As a general atmosphere, this bar goes down in history as one of the stranger ones I've ever been in.

It was here that we ran in to, somewhat to my surprise, the Easter Bunny. Hearing us talk, he arrived at our table speaking perfect Queen's English with a thick Easter Bunny accent (or maybe it was German). In the tradition of bachelor parties in German, he asked us to buy a small bottle of alcohol- less than the volume of a shot- for 10€.

Being my father's son and, maybe as importantly, his father's grandson, I decided the vibe was right and the BAC was high enough to have fun with this guy.

"What? Ten Euro for that? And, wait.... who are you anyway??" I asked incredulously.
"I'm the Easter Bunny." he replied without hesitation.

Touche, I thought.

"I'll give you one Euro for it!"
"10 Euro, but I'll eat a carrot" he said as he pulled out a hidden carrot. To that point in my life, I never knew that rabbits had pockets The carrot appeared as if it had been freshly picked by Wilbur himself out of Mr. Abaler's farm. .

Where did he get that carrot??

"Are you kidding? I'm the f----- Easter Bunny- that's what I eat. Anyway, they brought a whole basket of them." he said gesturing to his entourage who was, not surprisingly, holding a basket full of carrots. "Now 10€ or not?"

"Eat 3 carrots and I'll give you 5€" I counter offered.

"No good. Three carrots for 10€". He held firm.

"Five carrots, greens and all, and I'll give you whatever coins I have in my pocket."

"How much do you have?"

"I don't know" I replied. "You'll have to eat 5 carrots, greens and all, to find out."

After brief consultation with his handlers and some further negotiations they decided it was possible if they could see the money, but not count it.

"No good." I said. "But I'll tell you what-  I'll shake whatever is in my pocket and let you listen" I said. I pulled the money from my pocket, being sure to keep it in a tightly held fist. I politely asked (read: yelled over bar noise to the DJ) to hold the music for a second. Much to my surprise- the music stopped and low hum fell over the bar.

Shake. Shake. Shake.


"I dunno dude" I said "If it's all 2€ coins, we could be talking about about 30€. Or, it could be a whole bunch of pennies and not even a Euro." Honestly, I had no idea how much was in my hands.

Shake. Shake. Shake.


"Okay," he said. "Three carrots, all the greens, whatever money is in your hand, and you get the booze."

And so it was. For a mere 6,43 € I got 10 minutes of entertainment and a shot of peppermint flavored schnapps from a plastic bottle later. Pretty good deal if you ask me.

Der Hund: official carrot eating judge.